Addicted To Awesome

My Disposable Income: April 2009

2009-04-30T04:53:00.001-04:00

Welp, it's that time of the month again.

That's right: I start menstruating.

Also I make blog posts!

So like I mentioned earlier, video game releases spiked considerably for the month of March, but slowed back down for April. That's actually fine, because with the exception of one game that I bought early on, there were a couple of other things I bought that managed to hold my attention for the rest of the month. Hit the jump to find out what those things are!

Rhythm Heaven

So first off is the one game I bought in April, Rhythm Heaven for the DS. This is actually the sequel to a pretty quirky GBA game that only came out in Japan. That game was called "Rhythm Tengoku", and it was basically a collection of rhythm-based minigames by the guys who made Wario Ware. The combination of Wario Ware and shaking it to funky music made me really excited of course, so I've been looking forward to the series' US debut for quite a while now.

Well it turns out that I suck at this game. The quirky music and visuals are great, but it's also really hard and requires very precise inputs. In some cases that can be difficult to do since once of the controls is "flick the stylus across the touch screen", and during certain fast-paced and hectic songs the game will generally confuse you "flicking" with you "tapping". Additionally it's frustrating that a single mistake during a song is generally the difference between a "Superb" rating and a "Just OK" one.

The game's got a lot of style, but unfortunately for Nintendo I played Henry Hatsworth last month, which not only oozes its own brand of style, but also has really solid gameplay that manages to be really challenging without being obnoxious.

I don't regret this purchase, though! As long as it encourages NOA to take more risks besides "Wii Party Games 5".

Scott Pilgrim Volumes 2 through 5

Scott Pilgim is a series I've known about for a pretty long while, but never really bothered to get into. I bought the first volume of the series like three years ago and it was a pretty fun little comic! It's basically about this Canadian kid named Scott Pilgrim who falls in love with a pretty awesome girl, but in order to go out with her he has to defeat her seven evil ex-boyfriends. It was presented pretty hilariously and there were a ton of video game references which were great, but at the time I didn't have a job so I couldn't afford any of the subsequent volumes. By the time I did have a job, I had pretty much forgotten about the series.

Well, fairly recently there's an announcement that it's getting turned into a live action film. Usually film adaptations of comics make me respond with an "eh" or a "I hope that will be cool! It probably won't be though", but due to the talent involved my reaction was more like "The main character is played by Michael Cera, who has basically perfected playing that type of role? Fuck yes! The director is Edgar Wright, the Shaun of the Dead/Hot Fuzz guy!? Double fuck yes! There will be an asian girl with a knife!?!? aaaaaa i am ordering these books online right now while I am talking"

So I've read the entire series so far, which almost completes the story. There's one volume left, which is apparently trying to get released before the movie, and I hope it does because this series has been totally awesome. The fight scenes are great, the dialogue is hilarious, and there was a Monkey Island reference somewhere which instantly makes it the best comic book ever made. I want to go into more detail but I am hoping that you, the reader, will check it out and I don't want to spoil things!

A Bunch of DnD 4.0 Stuff

Remember when last month I said I'd been playing the latest edition of Dungeons and Dragons recently and I'd been enjoying myself? Well I've been getting really into it lately and I decided that I wanted to Dungeon Master a session of the game myself. A good amount of my friends are into roleplaying but haven't played 4.0 yet, so I figured this summer would be an awesome opportunity for everyone to try it out. As a result, I've been buying a bunch of stuff in preparation, and there's a few more things I'll be getting in May before the adventure I'll run in early June.

Core Rulebook Set: This includes the Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master's Guide, and Monster Manual in one convenient package. I already had my own copy of the Player's Handbook, but buying this set was actually cheaper than buying the remaining two books separately, so it was almost like getting a spare copy for free! Which is great, since two books spread amongst 4-6 players will make character creation and whatnot a speedier process than it would be with everyone having to share one book. Plus the DMG and MM have been awesome for my adventure designing purposes.

Dungeon Master's Screen: It's a screen! For dungeon mastering! Oh boy! (It is well designed and I like it.)

Arcane Power: This is a book I actually bought for the sessions I'm a player in instead of for DMing purposes. This book is basically kind of an expansion pack for the non-god-oriented magic-casting classes like Wizards, Warlocks, Sorcerers and Bards. The god-oriented magic classes get their own supplemental book called Divine Power. Anyways my character is a Warlock, so I bought the book to give him access to the neat new powers and feats and stuff that it offers. And I think it was a worthy purchase! A lot of fun new stuff that still keeps things balanced. I might get the other character-related expansions as well so that the players in my upcoming adventure can use them if they like.

Minatures: I got a handful of same-looking miniatures that I can use for groups of monsters. Next month I'm getting the mat that my players and I will be using for combat, which will help me know whether or not I need to buy more miniatures. I'm secretly hoping that the squares are big enough for me to recycle minis from other tabletop games I own. I already know that the HeroClix minis are too big, so my heroes won't be fighting Batman anytime soon, but maybe my Heroscape stuff? The fantasy-oriented stuff would fit in just fine, while the sci-fi and world war II minis would fit in just hilariously!

Anyways, that's all for this month. Tune in next time my vagina starts bleeding!

My Disposable Income: March 2009

2009-03-31T11:30:00.000-04:00

March was a pretty great part of the year. While the new video game release drought hasn't quite ended, a whole buttload of games and other neat stuff came out to herald the end of Winter and the beginning of Spring. I mean, I didn't buy that many, but hey, the new releases scene gets boring again in April so maybe I'll get to play some catch up!

In the meantime, here's what I picked up in March.

Avalon Code

So here is a game that I was really interested in because it had incredible potential. It's developed my Matrix Software, better known as the people who developed the 3D DS remakes of Final Fantasys III and IV, and published by XSEED Games, the awesome people responsible for bringing Retro Game Challenge to the States last month. That's a pretty promising team in my book, so as long as the story wasn't something like "Captain Poop keeps poopin, clean up his poop to save the planet from poop death" it was pretty much a guaranteed buy. And despite that story being 100% LIKELY, it was actually something pretty different! Basically you're a kid who stumbles across this magical tome called the Book of Prophecy. The world is going to end soon, and it's your job to travel across it and record everything in the Book of Prophecy that you deem worthy of appearing in the new world. Not the most unique story in the world I guess, but still neat enough.

The coolest part was the role the Book of Prophecy played in the gameplay. The main gimmick is that just about anything in the game's world- weapons, enemies, characters, flowers, talkin' cakes, talkin' butts, talkin' buttcakes, whatever- could be scanned and have their properties viewed by smacking them with the book. Then those properties could be mixed and matched by dragging them around on the touchscreen. For example, let's say you come across a rusty sword in the game. After scanning the item, you notice that amongst the different icons on the sword's page within the book, one of them says "SICKNESS". You drag that icon off the page, and ta-da! The sword isn't rusty anymore. Beyond that, you can take the "SICKNESS" icon you just collected and place it on the page of a tough monster, which would cut its HP in half and make it easier to fight. There's basically tons of ways to use this feature and it would be pretty awesome except for one problem: the interface is kind of terrible!

The problem is that by the time you're halfway through the game, you have literally hundreds of pages in your book, with no easy way to navigate through them. You get a Table of Contents that'll take you straight to a certain category, like Characters or Weapons, but it gets to be a problem when even after that you have to flip through 50-plus pages to get to the specific character you're looking for. The game desperately needs a Search option, and it doesn't have one. And as for the little property icons, you can only hold up to four at a time. This means a lot of tedious shuffling around to get a hold of the icons you need and to get rid of the icons you don't. It shouldn't take ten minutes just to add the "FIRE" property to your talkin' buttcakes and make Flamin' Buttcakes. I mean, Flamin' Buttcakes is worth it no matter how much time it takes, but still.

Avalon Code could be a fantastic game, but it's cluttered too much by various design flaws I can only guess were caused by the DS's various technical limitations. Oh well, maybe we'll get a sequel some day. Really, all they need to do is clean up the interface of the current game to upgrade it from "decent but weird" to "freakin awesome and great".

Dungeons and Dragons 4.0: Player's Handbook 2

Right now seems as good a time as any to mention that I'm a fan of tabletop roleplaying games. I don't get to play them as often as I'd like, since playing them regularly tends to require a flexible schedule and a lot of free time, of which I usually have neither. However, recently I have been able to work things out so that, once a week, I can spend my non-worky time with some friends as a player in sessions of Dungeons and Dragons.

The version of DnD we've been playing is the latest one, Edition 4.0, and while it seems to be getting a lot of flak from people that haven't played it yet, I've been enjoying my time with it quite a bit. People that expect a direct upgrade to Edition 3.5 and refuse to play anything else will probably end up being a bit disappointed, because it's very different now. Quite a few things have been streamlined, and there's a much bigger focus on combat than the previous edition had. Most of a given class's special abilities are for use in battle and battle alone, and while you could talk your way through most of a battle in 3.5 while lying down, eating chalupas, and rolling around in a tub of hot sauce (easy dipping for the chalupas, you see), battles in 4.0 pretty much require some sort of graph paper and miniatures to play even sort of coherently. Initially I balked at these changes and thought they'd detract from the roleplaying experience and make things more boring. In reality, it turns out that the role playing elements can still be just as big of a focus if you have the right Dungeon Master (which I'm lucky enough to have), and the other changes makes it feel more like... wait for it... a game. And a very fun and solid one, at that. Compare it to the release of the fourth Harry Potter movie versus the book: if you're looking for a faithful translation of the original, you'll hate it. However, ff you just want a fun, action-packed experience based on the source material, then you'll have a great time with it.

Anyways, Player's Handbook 2. As with earlier editions of DnD, 4.0 has been releasing a bunch of supplemental books that add various elements to the game. This particular book primarily adds a bunch of new Classes and Races to the mix, as well as a handful of new weapons and feats and stuff. It makes me particularly happy because when 4.0 came out, two of my favorite classes from 3.5 were missing: Druid and Bard. Barbarian, Sorcerer and Monk were gone as well. Player's Handbook 2 fixes things by adapting the first four classes I mentioned to the new ruleset (Monk has been promised to make a return, though I'm not sure when), and although I haven't been able to try them out yet in actual gameplay, they're pretty neat! The other new races and classes are interesting as well, although a couple of them made me roll my eyes and go "GEE I WONDER WHAT POPULAR FANTASY-BASED FRANCHISE INSPIRED THIS", like the new Shaman class.

Overall, not a disappointing purchase, and it's been handy to have in recent sessions (one of our party members is a Sorcerer), though I suppose my Warlock'll have to die before I can use the book much for myself. And I don't want my Warlock to die! He's a half-elf who got raised by a dwarf and he is awesome.

We3

So I've heard a whole lot about how Grant Morrison is a great comic book writer and Frank Quietly's a great comic book artist. This talk has become frequent lately because the two are collaborating to make a Batman & Robin series for DC, which people are making a big deal out of because Bruce Wayne died recently in DC's canon, and he's being replaced by a new Batman (DC is trying to be all mysterious about who it is, but it is probably Dick Grayson, the first Robin). Anyway I'm not going to justify that retardedness by continuing to talk about it. So these two guys are apparently pretty talented, and I want to check out their earlier works. Turns out they've collaborated several other times, and the most interesting of these was a little title called We3.

We3 is basically about a dog, a cat, and a rabbit who are turned into cyborg weapons by the government. Right before they get decommissioned, the hot doctor lady who made them that way has a change of heart and sets them free. Now the main reason I bought this paperback is because I had an equation going on in my head:

Homeward Bound + Robots = BEST THING EVER?

So then I actually received the graphic novel and read it and everything, and it was slightly deeper than that. Well actually, the equation ended up being this:

Homeward Bound + Robots + INSANE AMOUNTS OF GRAPHIC VIOLENCE = WHAT NO WHY ARE THESE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO ADORABLE ANIMALS WHY DID I BUY THIS

The art is very well done, and it's also very well written, but this particular story just didn't really click with me. I mean, one of the main points made is that animals with deadly weapons lack human restraint, and are therefore capable of pretty fucked up shit. As a result, there is some pretty fucked up shit throughout the comic, all shown in more detail than you'll ever need. I never really went through life hoping that I could see an extreme closeup of a tiny spear going through someone's eyeball, and uh I guess now I never have to, thanks guys!

It's very clear from this outing that Mister Morrison is a good writer and Quaint Quietly is a good artist, but We3 just wasn't for Me3.

Bolt

I bought this movie pretty much on an impulse while I was at Wal-Mart, and seeing as it was a non-Pixar CG-animated flick, my expectations were pretty low. Especially considering that star billing went to Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus, and I tend to avoid things she's involved with on principle. But hey, I dug the superhero angle, and I liked the trailers with the screaming hamster in it, so I plunked down the 14 bucks.

And it was mostly a fairly typical kids' movie, with not much that I haven't already seen before (Bolt's story was pretty much exactly like Buzz Lightyear's story arc in Toy Story), but it was pretty cute. There was a lot of clever writing and likeable characters, and Miley Cyrus wasn't even in it that much.

I really don't have much to write about this. The movie was okay and I liked the jokes. As far as non-Pixar CG Disney movies go, it was significantly better than expected but not as good as Meet the Robinsons. And by the way if you're someone who enjoys reading this blog but hasn't watched Meet the Robinsons you need to stop everything and watch it right now. That movie is amazing!

Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure

First of all, let me say that the purchase of this game was worth it for the box art alone.

Henry Hatsworth is this quirky little Nintendo DS adventure that's a pretty interesting melding of the platformer and puzzle genres. The general gist of things is that on the top screen you have your basic side-scrolling platformer, and on the bottom screen you have a Pokemon Puzzle League style puzzle game. When you defeat enemies or grab items on the top screen, they become puzzle blocks on the bottom screen. Clearing those blocks gives you bonuses and special abilities in the platformer part of the game, while ignoring them for too long will make the blocks float back up to the top screen and try to smash you and stuff. It's a very simple concept that the game gets a whole lot of mileage out of, and it's surprisingly fun. When the basic gameplay gets old, you can count on boss battles to mix things up again, which by the way are AMAZING. The second boss of the game might actually be on my Top 5 of Best Video Game Boss Battles Ever, Seriously.

Plus, if you couldn't tell by the boxart, the game is friggin hilarious. The story is basically about an ancient legend about a treasure hunter known only as THE GENTLEMAN (yes they actually spell his name in all caps every time they refer to him I love this game so much) who finds a suit so classy that it gives the power to access another dimension, the world behind the Puzzle parts of the game. Deeming it just too dangerous for humanity, he seals the Puzzle Realm, then breaks the suit into pieces and hides it in various places around the world. The game involves Henry Hatsworth, #1 member of the Pompous Adventurers Club, trying to the suit's various pieces before his rival Leopold Weasleby (the guy screaming in the background of that boxart) does. The genius is mostly behind the dialogue and the goofy-ass characters. I have genuinely laughed out loud at certain points in the game, it's actually that good!

The only drawback is that the game is freaking HARD. It gets ridiculous around the fourth continent you explore, and currently I'm stuck at the fifth continent and keep dying. Oh man, when Henry Hatsworth dies he says "Poppycock" as he falls off the screen. Game of the year!

Anyway if you like quirky video games you should probably get this.

A 4GB SD Card

So remember when I talked about GDC and made some predictions a little while ago? Well consider this my coverage of the aftermath: I said in my original post that people thought Nintendo would release their storage solution and announce a new Zelda game that day, and that they were retarded. Well, uh, exactly that happened. The Wii now has a firmware upgrade that allows you to run VC and WiiWare games directly from an SD card, and added HCSD support on top of that, which means you can use SD cards up to 32 gigs in size. Also they announced a DS game called Legend of Zelda: Link Train Ride Adventure or some shit, but it's not really worth mentioning.

The firmware upgrade was great news, though, and I went out and got a 4 gig card on the same day to celebrate. And well, not much to say besides that the new interface works, it works pretty well, and I'm probably going to buy a bunch of VC/WiiWare games soon to start filling up all my brand new space. Maybe you'll see which ones in the next My Disposable Income installment.

So there you go. My Nintendo systems got a whole lot of love this month. About friggin time, Nintendo!

Game Developers Conference 2009: Pre-Event Excitement

2009-03-25T09:31:00.001-04:00

Hey folks, guess what? GDC '09 is here, hooray!

For those not in the know, the Game Developers Conference is the first major gaming event of the year. I should probably use the word "major" loosely, because it's generally the one that garners the smallest amount of big announcements. Actually, the amount of game reveals is downright pitiful when put next to megatons that typically happen at events like E3 or the Tokyo Game Show, which happen in the Summer and Fall respectively. Despite that though, it could very well be the most interesting.

The reason for this is that the purpose of the conference isn't for game developers and publishers to showcase upcoming games, or to wow the gaming press. This does happen of course, but the real intended audience is fellow game developers. The presentations generally show things like a behind the scenes perspective on a recently completed game, or tips for a fledgling game designer looking to direct his own tiny team of tenacious taters. E3 and TGS say "This is what you'll be playing at the end of this year and beyond," but GDC says "This is the work we had to do so you could play what you did last year". So while there's rarely a reveal that would make one wetten his pants, it does give us a deeper look into the world of game development and the industry in general than we usually get, and it can be really awesome sometimes.

That said, there are neat little announcements to be had, and they tend to appeal to the most specific type of gamer nerd. The "yours truly" kind! There's a few events this year in particular that I'm very interested in, and I'm going to list them right now.

Level-5's Keynote

Level-5 is probably one of my favorite development teams right now. Their stories and concepts tend to be a 50/50 split between "intriguing" and "horrible cliche mess", but they always, always deliver unique and engaging gameplay. Their RPG titles are amongst the most fun I've played, although some (such as Rogue Galaxy) are also amongst the most annoying. This is usually the US localization team's fault though, and I'm sure that the more popular this developer gets, the more attention and respect will get paid to the source material upon future translations.

Anyways, they're speaking at this year's GDC, and they're going to be discussing three of their games. The first is the Professor Layton series, a trilogy of puzzle-adventure games about some british guy in a top hat and his little boy sidekick running around and solving mysteries. It's kind of like Batman and Robin, except instead of saving the day by punching people in the face, they do it by figuring out how exactly they can line up three cows to spell the word "PARTY". The second is Inazuma Eleven, a Soccer RPG that basically turns the sport into an episode of Dragon Ball Z, in the best way possible. The third title, and the one I'm most interested in, is Ninokuni: The Another World, a game about a little boy with a book that gives him a portal to a mystical world or something? The neat thing is that the game comes with an actual physical book that you read to find things out about the world in the game. Also, the cutscenes are animated by Studio Ghibli, who've made amazing anime movies like Spirited Away and Castle in the Sky.

The interesting thing here is that GDC takes place in California, and two out of three of these games are Japan-only so far. If we get an announcement regarding a US localization of even Inazuma Eleven, I may have to cream not only my pants, but everyone's pants in a 20-yard radius.

Satoru Iwata's Keynote

Now Satoru Iwata being at GDC is kind of a big deal, seeing as he's the president of Nintendo. He's due to talk about "Creating New Development Opportunities", and of course this would probably be a good excuse for him to talk about the DSi, the new redesign of the Nintendo DS that has fancy cameras and games you can download from their online shop called "DSiWare". There are already rumors exploding all over the place about how he's going to announce a brand new Zelda, or that the Wii storage solution will be uploaded to the Wii Shop Channel during his keynote. And the people spreading these rumors a dumber than a sack full of retarded people (it's really kind of a tragedy, the opening's right there but they can't figure out how to escape), because once again, the point of GDC isn't to make big announcements like that. I'm pretty sure the majority of his speech will just involve the development process of the DSi, and maybe a few neat tidbits about upcoming DSiWare titles.

At the same time though, there's been a rumor floating around about old Game Boy and Game Boy Advance games coming to the DSi Store as downloadable games. If it turns out to be true it could turn my DSi purchase priority from "eventually" to "preorder".

Impressions of Games

While it's not a huge focus, there will be some upcoming games shown off. There's a couple in particular I'm excited to hear about. The first is Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, a co-op brawler-RPG starring Spider-Man and a bunch of other unimportant jerks, and also Deadpool. The first title wasn't exactly the most polished gameplay experience, but I'll be damned if it wasn't a whole lot of fun. If the sequel even kind of brings back the multiplayer goodness, it might be an instant purchase for me. The second game that gaming press will likely get hands-on time with is Brutal Legend, the latest game from the genius behind Monkey Island, Tim Schafer. It has Jack Black in it as a roadie, so even if the game isn't that great it's sure to be hella entertaining.

Anyways that's just a taste of GDC this year. I'm sure we'll get all sorts of pleasant little surprises as well. Depending on how awesome they are, I might end up writing up an aftermath post when the Conference is over.

My Disposable Income: February 2009

2009-02-28T23:52:00.006-05:00

So hey guys, it's the end of the month and you know what that means! Yup, time for me to talk about stuff that I paid money for, and my subsequent opinions of those things!

And I sure did purchase some things!

See which things after the jump.

Seriously, I'm at a loss for pre-list filler text today, just click "read more".

Retro Game Challenge

I'd been looking forward to this title for a while. The basic premise is this: a guy who really likes oldschool video games turns you into an eight year old and teleports you to the 1980's, where you you're told to beat a bunch of challenges he gives you as play an assortment of 8-bit parody/tributes to the games that existed back then. You've got your Galaga-like space shooter, your action-puzzle-platformer that's kind of like "Flicky" for the Genesis, and even a full fledged ancient grind-and-dungeon-crawl RPG, amongst others. When the game was released in Japan it was based off of a TV show about a guy who tries to beat a bunch of old video games, but since that show hasn't been localized over here, most of the references to the show have been stripped from the US version of the game. Anyways, I finally got it around the middle of the month, and I wasn't disappointed one bit with my purchase!

Not only does the faux nostalgia and playful pokes and prods at games of my childhood work their magic awesomely, but most of the games in Retro Game Challenge are also actually really well designed. They manage to feel like authentic games made in the 1980's while still being really fun. And there's a lot of parts of the main game, I mean the part between all the 8-bit fake games, that make you go "oh that is kind of neat and clever! I mean, I want to get back to the actual video games but this is neat and I appreciate it!". As you play the retro games, you'll unlock gaming magazines that you can then read in-game, and they'll have strategy guides for the games you're currently playing, and previews for "new" games that you'll unlock later on. There's like five previews for the RPG title because it keeps getting delayed. See, it's cute little things like that that make the game even more enjoyable!

The game has its flaws. For example there's an 8-bit racing game called "Rally King", and uh remember how much 8-bit racing games actually suck? Unfortunately this game emulates terrible games of the 80's just as well as the good ones. Also there is a little english voice acting, and it is awful. Luckily, they're just short sound clips and they're easy to tune out.

I've already beaten the game, and for the most part I had a lot of fun, even though it runs a bit short with only eight games. There's a sequel coming out soon in Japan with even more fakey-retro-time-amazings, and I hope it gets brought over to the US at some point in the near-ish future.

Lost Odyssey

Now, I've actually played Lost Odyssey before, right after it came out around this time last year. The thing is that back then it was only a rental. I was excited, but hesitant to full-out buy it. On one hand, it was a next-gen fantasy RPG from the father of Final Fantasy, and unlike his first Xbox 360 effort, Blue Dragon, this new game didn't involve Dragon Ball Z's Akira Toriyama signing up for the project and using the same five character designs he's been using for the past 20 years. On the other hand, 60 dollars was a lot of money to spend, especially since I was close to broke at the time from just buying my Xbox 360. So I decided to play it safe and rent it first to see how much I liked it. And it was a fun JRPG with some awesome gameplay features, decent but not great dialogue/voice acting, and a fairly cliche storyline that was still fresh enough to feel tolerable.

However, right around the time I was supposed to return my rental I came across a part of the game I absolutely HATED, which resulted in me deciding not to spend the full 60 freaking dollars on it. Kind of a harsh decision in retrospect, considering how much I enjoyed the game otherwise, but maybe game developers should learn this lesson: if you are going to put something potentially dramatic and touching in your game, say maybe a character death... for the love of god please do not follow it up with FUNERAL MINIGAMES OH GOD THE MEMORIES ARE STILL PAINFUL.

Anyways, after that little tragedy I was never going to pay full price for the game, mostly out of principle for a game element so stupid that upon sitting through it, my brain managed to climb out of my skull and punch me in the face. But recently I was walking through Best Buy, and I saw that the game's price had lowered to a modest 30 dollars. On top of that, I had two Best Buy cards that, when combined, lowered the price of my purchase by 20 dollars. And that was when I caved in and walked out of the store with my 10 dollar Xbox 360 game.

I started the game over and I'm about 5 hours in, and man there were actually a lot of great things about this game, and I'm glad I'm playing it again. I plan to do my best at trudging through the offending part of the game this time... I guess I'll just have to brace myself for a squishy smack in the nose from my angry cerebellum.

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII

This was an interesting purchase for me. Not because it's Final Fantasy, because I think we've already established my weakness for that franchise. No, the main reason this was an odd buy is because this is a PSP game, and I don't actually own a PSP.

"But Thores," you're saying, "that's dumb. Like, really dumb. You're stupid." And I say YOUR FACE is stupid. I also say that I actually planned on buying a PSP alongside the game this month. The initial reason I held off is that I want a PSP-2000. The store I bought Crisis Core at only had the PSP-3000. It's a newer model, and that would usually mean better, but unfortunately that isn't the case here. The 3000 has screen issues, visible "scan lines" you can see blinking on the otherwise pretty screen when you're playing certain games. The 2000 doesn't have that issue, and it also has a better battery life. In fact, the only disadvantage the older model has is that the screen isn't capable of being as bright as the 3000's. But I didn't really care about that! The brightness level the 2000 can pull off is just fine from what I'd seen, so the plan was to buy Crisis Core, a 4 GB PSP memory card that I also bought but am not dedicating a whole section to because it would be about as long as this bold text you're reading now, and then go home and order the older, better model of the PSP off of Amazon.

And when I came home I checked my gaming news and found out that rumors were flying around that Sony's about to announce a new redesign for the PSP, one that would potentially improve upon and eliminate the problems of all the previous models, and also look really nifty. Last time there were PSP redesign rumors flying around, the PSP-3000 was announced a couple of weeks later. So now I'm playing the waiting game! I figure if the next big game conference passes by and nothing new regarding the PSP hardware is announced, then I'll just go ahead and buy the 2000... and then promptly poop everywhere in anger as the PSP-4000 is announced exactly one day later.

Oh yeah anyways Crisis Core is a neat game I want to play.

Hunter x Hunter Volume 25

One of these days I'm going to have to make a full fledged gigantic post about this series, but for now here's a brief covering of the basics: Hunter x Hunter is one of my favorite mangas of all time, and the only one that I still read these days. It's set in a world a lot like our modern world, except there are magic beasts and amazing undiscovered treasures, and also a whole lot more badasses. Of course, access to those three things is mostly exclusive to Hunters, the most sought after profession in the world, and also the hardest to get a license for, seeing as the Hunter Exam is only once a year and generally involves a lot of people dying. The opening of the story involves the protagonist of the series, an 11 year old named Gon, applying to take the Hunter Exam so he can meet his father, apparently a legendary Hunter himself. The story sounds simple enough, but the characters and adventures that result from it are flat out amazing and make for some of the best manga I have ever, ever read, especially in the earlier volumes. It reminds me of the original Dragon Ball sometimes, and I loved Dragon Ball, because it was amazing and unique then, despite my earlier musings on Toriyama's creative abilities now.

Right now it's still good enough that I buy a new volume every time one comes out, as you can see from me purchasing the issues this month pretty much the instant it released, but it's definitely dipped in quality. Using my example from a few sentences ago, if early Hunter x Hunter can be likened to the original Dragon Ball, then the latest volumes of series are a lot more like Dragon Ball Z. Don't get me wrong, it is much better than Dragon Ball Z, but the series just isnt as amazing and charming as back when Gon took his Hunter Exam for the first time. It's still good times though, and I still have a very large soft spot for the series as a whole. I'm just bummed because for some retarded reason, Volume 26 doesn't come out till January of 2010. What the butt?

And speaking of butts, that's the end of my post!

Turd-cavern!

I mean bye!

Late to the Party: My Final Fantasy XI Impressions

2009-02-06T20:54:00.000-05:00

Hey, geddit!? Get that pun I just made? See, because you can have a "party" of people in an RPG, right? But "Late to the Party" is a phrase that means something besides that! I just wrote something with two meanings! Yeah you can leave that Nobel Prize for FANTASTIC WRITING FROM A SEXY GUY on the desk.

Anyways, as I mentioned last week, I bought my first MMORPG recently. Final Fantasy XI arrived in the mail this week and I spent most of Wednesday playing it. Like I've said before, I bought the game because I could play it on something besides my abysmal computer, and because I have a pretty big soft spot for the Final Fantasy series. It's the only numbered game in the installment that I had yet to play (besides maybe FFV, which I actually forget whether or not I tried), and the concept of riding around Chocobos and fighting Tonberries in a new world crafted by Square-Enix's capable design team was definitely a promising one.

So in my first 10 hours or so of gameplay, does it live up to that promise? Keep reading and find out.

I got the game on Tuesday night, but I didn't actually get to play at that point due to the install time. See, I'd gotten not only the main game, but all the expansions, and on top of that I had missed about six years worth of system updates, so my 360 had to download a pretty hefty amount of material in one sitting! It took about 4 or 5 hours total, so I slept through that process and when I woke up Wednesday morning, the full game was installed and I was ready to play.

Unfortunately the first thing I noticed about the game was a bit disappointing: the character creator is TERRIBLE. It started out not so bad and fairly standard: you choose from one of the game's five available races, and for three of those races you could also choose a gender. Humes are the standard Human race, Elvaan are basically elves, Mithra is the catgirl race, Galka is the "big beefy hairy man" race, and Tarutarus are basically what would happen if Bilbo Baggins got really, really drunk one day and made babies with an adorable teddy bear. I chose a Tarutaru male, firstly because they seemed to be the only race open to males that wasn't also a direct ripoff off WOW, and by extension Dungeons and Dragons, and by extension western fantasy in general. Secondly, because this race was "finely attuned to magic", and magic using classes are generally awesome. Thirdly, because AWW THEY ARE SO CUTE AND I COULD CUDDLE THEM TILL I DIE

Anyways I chose Tarutaru Male, and this is what I was offered for character customization. I could choose between six possible Faces. These selections didn't actually change the way my face looked at all, but rather modified my hairstyle. Then I could choose between two colors for each hairstyle. After that, ding! Character creation complete! That is AWFUL. Maybe other races have more variety but WOW. I think the funniest part for me was that they didn't just let you choose your own hair color, but had "Color A" and "Color B" for each selection. Your Tarutaru could have a blond ponytail and a white ponytail. You could have a shaggy hairdo that was either brown or red. So why is my Tarutaru apparently biologically incapable of having a red ponytail or a blond shag? Obviously the source of their mysterious innate magical abilities comes from their hair and how it doesn't want to be more than two different kinds of colors depending on their proximity to a hairtie.

But whatever, after I got over that I chose my Job Class, which would be pretty familiar pickings if you've ever played either FFIII or any of the Final Fantasy Tactics games: Warrior, Monk, White Mage, Black Mage, Red Mage, and Thief. After some heavy consideration I finally chose White Mage. Then after that it was a matter of choosing my name and starting location. After choosing the default Tarutaru hometown because it was foresty and neat looking, I was ready to explore the fast world of Vana'diel as Wigglewum, the Tarutaru White Mage!

Aww, look at him. He sure likes waving!

After a couple of cutscenes, and a few tutorial tasks, I was fighting bumblebees and leveling up like nobody's business. I've heard a lot of babble about how it is really really hard to level up in this game, and maybe that's true later on, but after a little more than a day's worth of gameplay I'm Level 8, which isn't necessarily WHOA FAST, but seems like a steady enough progression to me. Unfortunately, leveling up has been getting harder to do by myself, because not only am I a walking punching bag due to being a physically weak magic casting class, I'm also a healer and thus have no offensive magic abilities to speak of right now! Luckily, nearly all the other players I've bumped into are surprisingly nice. Really high level guys have invited me into their parties just to help me out, and even those who haven't would heal me if they noticed me fighting a tough monster, or revive me if they were passing by and noticed I was dead... which unfortunately has been a pretty common scenario lately. And they'd always do this for free! After hearing tales of WOW being pretty much Douchebag Central as a community, it's been really nice to play in this kind of environment.

Overall, the game's pretty neat, and I'm enjoying it so far. There is a part of me that wished the game felt more like a Final Fantasy, though. There are several things Squeenix could have done in this regard, like use one of the franchise's already existing worlds as a starting point. Ivalice, the world of Final Fantasy Tactics and Final Fantasy XII, seems like a perfect fit for an MMO. That world had several unique races, each suited for different various tasks and abilities, and there's already like a billion classes to work with. Instead FFXI features a new world, Vana'diel, and that's okay, except another name it could easily be called is Generic MMORPG Land aka We Took WOW And Made It Japanese, The Continent. I mean, you do have Chocobos running around and Mogs run your house (I haven't gotten to toy around with the house system just yet but it should be fun), and the game'll probably pick up more as I run into other Final Fantasy staples, like Cactuars and Cid. There's just part of me that wishes it felt even more unique.

Still, it's not as bad as I make it sound, and in the long run it's a small complaint considering what the game does have to offer. What it doesn't have in terms of unique storyline, it makes up for with neat gameplay features, a battle system that feels like Final Fantasy while still also being MMO-ish, and an enjoyable community to play in. And I'm enjoying myself a good deal, so it's obviously doing something right!

Anyways, those are just a few early impressions. As the free trial period wears on, we'll see if I get either addicted or bored. Right now I guess it could go either way, but I've been resisting turning away to go play some more during the entire writing of this blog post, so I guess that bodes pretty well for the former! I'll probably update you guys on my progress, I guess. If you want me to?

My Disposable Income: January 2009

2009-01-31T21:58:00.000-05:00

Well, the first month of the new year has already gone by, and actually, a good deal quicker than I might have expected. Anyway you know what the end of the month on a fledgling blog means: Time for me to try out a monthly-ish feature and see if I like doing it enough to write it on a regular basis! Yay for experimentation!

The premise this time is pretty simple: I buy stuff sometimes! This generally happens at least once a month, and is probably the only perk of having a full-time job I can think of. I figure maybe it'll be neat to keep track of the things I purchase over time, whether they be awesome movies and games or dumb impulse purchases. That way I get to touch on some of the stuff I buy that maybe I wouldn't normally write a full article on.

So let's go, Cheerios! Here's what I got this month.

The Powerpuff Girls: The Complete Series

So, first, fun fact that I love sharing: Did you know that when the show's creator, Craig McCracken, pitched Powerpuff Girls to Cartoon Network, they were originally called The Whoopass Girls, and they were created by Professor Utonium accidentally dropping a can of Whoop Ass into his concoction? Cartoon Network obviously made him change the name since it wasn't exactly kid friendly. Still, best origin story ever!

Anyways, yes, this has probably been the gayest purchase I have ever made, but you know what? Despite the audience it was marketed to, I remembered it being a fantastic cartoon when I watched it ten years ago. I'm also a pretty big buff on animated stuff in general, and on top of that I was feeling a little nostalgic when I saw it on sale, so it ended up becoming pretty much a must buy. Even then, though, it seemed like kind of a risky purchase. What if it wasn't as funny, clever, and well written as I remember it being? What if it was just this girly kids' cartoon that my 12 year old self put up with because he was a sucker for anything that included superpowers?

Well I've watched a good half of the series now, and I don't regret the purchase one bit for the first two seasons alone, cause they're amazing. Nearly every episode in seasons 1 and 2 on the set is a classic. There's too many highlights there to list, but if I had to choose a few favorites I'd probably pick:

Telephonies: The Gangrene Gang get a hold of the Powerpuff Hotline Phone and use it to make prank calls. This episode is one of the best examples of the show's great sense of humor.

Something's A Ms.: A villainess kidnaps the Mayor's assistant, takes her place, and seduces the Mayor so he doesn't notice her robbing the city blind. There are like five billion dirty jokes in this one, I can't believe Craig McCracken got away with half of them.

The Powerpuff Girls Best Rainy Day Adventure Ever: It's a rainy day so the Powerpuff Girls play a pretend game of... Powerpuff Girls. This episode is just plain adorable and a lot of fun.

And that's just a small fraction of what I love about the show. Unfortunately, I haven't even finished the series yet and it already seems to be going downhill. Season 3 is really quirky and weird, and although there's some fun episodes it's not as filled with classics as the first two seasons. Then the downward slope becomes a bit steeper with Season 4. The animation is cleaned up a bit, but it also becomes a bit more streamlined and not as charming. Plus the entire season is exclusively half-hour long plotlines, instead of two fifteen minute episodes at a time. The series generally suffers from this, as the stories become less fast paced and there's a lot more awkwardly timed moments. The newer episodes aren't necessarily bad, they just seem to have lost what made older episodes amazing On the other hand, I'm only halfway through Season 4, so maybe things change for the better? I guess I'll see!

The DVD set itself is fantastic and packed with extras, by the way. All of the original "Whoopass Girls" pilot episodes are in here, as well as the "What A Cartoon Show" shorts, an episode that was never aired in the US called "See Me, Feel Me, Gnomey, a brand new special episode made for the show's 10th Anniversary, and a buttload of other stuff. Definitely worth a purchase for any PPG fan, whether the show eventually declines or not.

The Powerpuff Girls Movie

I bought this to make my PPG Collection a truly complete one. However, the movie didn't come out until after the fourth season, and I'm watching the series in chronological order, so I actually haven't watched the movie yet.

So how about another random fact: The underpants I'm wearing right now have drawings of a dog roasting marshmallows. The dog is wearing sunglasses!

Time Hollow

This is an adventure game for the DS that came out recently. It's been on my radar for a while, and after finding out that the game is now out of print, I snagged a new copy from a retailer on Amazon immediately, while it was still relatively cheap.

The main jist of the storyline is that the protagonist's parents have disappeared, and have apparently left him a magical pen that gives him time traveling powers. So throughout the game, you use the pen (or should I say your Nintendo DS stylus? Boy that sure was clever and not lame Konami!) to draw portals in areas that you've been having context-sensitive flashbacks about. And you use those portals to try and change the past back to normal, and also solve the mystery of why your parents are missing. The game has a lot in common with that movie The Butterfly Effect, except Ashton Kutcher isn't in it, so it's actually good.

I've already blasted through a pretty big chunk of the game, and it has a flaw or two, the most blatant being that point-and-click adventures are just becoming an awfully archaic and limited genre despite how much I loved them when I was younger, but I'm still enjoying myself a good deal. What's weird is that I've only been playing the game a few hours and it already feels like I'm reaching the climax of the story. Hopefully this adventure isn't as short as it feels, because I'm enjoying the characters and puzzles being thrown at me and am definitely up for more.

Xbox 360 120GB Hard Drive

So I've been loving my 360 a lot, but lately there's been one glaring problem: I never had any freaking space on the thing! Whenever I wanted to download a new game demo or video of something that became available on the system's fantastic online service, I usually had to delete something that was already on my measly 20GB hard drive. If you guys recall, I've been having a similar problem with my Wii's storage space for roughly the past year now. Of course, there's one pretty big difference between the 360 and the Wii in this regard: The 360 actually has a solution to the storage problem. A bit more expensive of a solution than I'd like, but I use my 360 pretty much all the time so I'd say it was a pretty solid investment.

So yeah, I bought the new hard drive this week, and it came with everything I needed to transfer all the stuff on my 20GB over to the 120GB quickly and easily, which is an awesome bit of customer service I wasn't expecting. Aaand... now I have 100 gigs of free space on my Xbox! Hooray! To celebrate, I ordered one last thing for the month off of Amazon:

Final Fantasy XI: Vana'diel Collection 2008

So I've wanted to play an MMO for quite a while, but as I've mentioned before, my computer sucks balls. So pretty much just last week I find out that FFXI isn't just available for the PC and PS2, it's a 360 game as well, and it's cross compatible with all the other versions! Add those facts to my brand new hard drive, my fondness of the Final Fantasy series in general, and the fact that I could get the game and every existing expansion pack for a total of 20 bucks off of Amazon, and we have ourselves a winner!

I haven't started playing it yet, since it's being shipped to me as I type this, and I'll probably have it this coming Monday or Tuesday. The first month within me starting an account is free, so I'll have that much time to figure out if I like it enough to pay for it on a monthly basis. And if I do, maybe you'll see me talk about it in a future Disposable Income installment.

Anyways, that's all the crap I bought this month! Next month: More crap?

Sega's Teaser Site: What Could Have Been

2009-01-28T17:02:00.001-05:00

After the massive overflow of gaming blockbusters that occurs in the last two months of the year, January unsurprisingly begins what is kind of a drought of video game releases. Maybe two or three notable games are coming out before March, which would usually leave a lot of people with gaming as a hobby twiddling their thumbs.

The good part of this timeframe is that a lot of game companies tend to fill in this gap with gaming news. They might announce new games or expand on previous announcements. The new announcements are never super big since those are usually saved for super big events like E3 or the Tokyo Game Show, but a lot of the time it's still something that's worth looking forward to. And every now and then, it is a big announcement. Which is why teaser sites with mysterious countdowns, promising a new game reveal when it ends, can be so exciting.

For those of you who have trouble catching on, Sega did this recently.

On January 13th, a very barebones website from Sega hit the World Wide Internets, sporting nothing but the image below:

There was a lot of speculation on this image, and my own initial thoughts were something along the lines of "A Mario mushroom with Sonic colors? Oh DUDE we're getting an actual for reals crossover(Mario and Sonic at the Olympics didn't count)!" Don't ask me how I manage to speak in parentheses, it's a very special talent.

And as time passed, new additions to the site seemed to support my theory. Eventually the mushroom would grow big and flash red if you held your mouse over it, clicking on it would produce a sound very familiar to the Mario 1up tune, and clicking on another voice would make a voice say "Ohh, mushrooms! Mushrooms have a reputation, right?" in Japanese. Really that last one is more proof that Japan people say things funny than it is anything else, but I was still getting pretty excited.

Then finally the 26th rolled around and we got this:

Pole's Big Adventure, an 8-bit platformer for WiiWare that parodies other 8-bit games, with the most focus on making fun of Mario titles. The mushroom featured is one of the powerups, which makes you bigger and bigger until you become too big to fit on the screen and you die. Other little jokes like this occur, like going down a pipe will just make you re-emerge covered in oil, and a cactus that looks like a regular background graphic just might decapitate Pole if he tries to walk past it, resulting in little pixelly blood splatters on the screen.

And actually, that actually sounds like it'd be pretty enjoyable stuff. I'd probably buy it if it came out in the States, especially if it's only 5 bucks when it comes out like it will be in Japan. But it still has me asking myself, where the hell is my freaking epic action-platformer where Sonic and Mario team up and there's awesome fanservice for both groups and Sonic doesn't turn into a werewolf or make out with human girls? I mean, back when Mario and Sonic at the Olympics was announced, its developers were saying that this was just the first step. If their first crossover attempt was successful, then more might follow. And after the game came out it proceeded to sell ten million freaking copies worldwide. So what's the big deal?

The only explanation I can think of is that last time a Sega representative had a talk with Satoru Iwata, the president of Nintendo, about the subject, the conversation must have went something like this:

Satoru Iwata: Hm. Our sales of Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games are adequate, but not as good as our previous big Mario games. They could be selling even better.
Sega Representative: Heh, what if we made the next one an actual game? Hahaha!
Iwata: (icy glare)
Sega Rep: Haha...ha...ha?
Iwata: (icy glare)
Sega Rep: Oh god.. I- I'm sorry sir, I was only kid-
Iwata: (icy glare)
Sega Rep: I didn't mean to... to...
Iwata: (icy glare)
Sega Rep: OH COME ON! Sega has been nothing but good to you for the past five freaking years! We're making a Phantasy Star MMO exclusively for your handhelds? We're giving you MadWorld! You know, the title we'll probably lose money on due to poor sales, but we're making anyway just to support your system's low amount of hardcore titles? And we'd make more! We could make a fantastic one, if only you'd let us-
Iwata: (icy glare)
Sega Rep: S-sir... I am so, so sorry. I don't know what came over me.
Iwata: (icy glare)
Sega Rep: Please sir... if there's anything I could do to make it up to you..
Iwata: (suggestive smile)
Sega Rep: T-that!? Again? ... but it hasn't even been half an hour since the last-
Iwata: (icy glare)
Sega Rep: OKAY OKAY! Okay! I'll do it!
Sega Rep gets on his knees. Iwata unzips his business pants.
Sega Rep: GLORP GLORP GLORP (sob) GLORP
Iwata: :)

And in the end Sega Rep didn't even do a very good job, so he was permitted to only be allowed to make a regular game that made vague references to Mario. The business world is so cold and harsh!

So in conclusion, that story was 100% factual and I hope Sega hires someone who is better at blowjobs so we can finally get a good crossover game.

See you guys next week!

My Christmas Haul 2008

2009-01-22T14:30:00.002-05:00

I'm almost done talking about last year, but before that I figured I'd focus on a particularly awesome part of 2008: Christmas!

Pretty much every present I got this year had the theme of "Man Daniel you are a freaking nerd, here is a present reflecting that." I didn't get any practical gifts or old socks or anything! This is pretty great. So I figured I'd make a post detailing the gifts I got at the end of last year, and why they all rule. You also get to see actual pictures of them because I'm a showoff like that.

Magical gifty goodness after the jump!

*jump*

Freakazoid Season 1

Now not many people know this, but Freakazoid is one of the best cartoons ever. This has been proven by SCIENCE, and also by having storylines involving Freakazoid drawing a face on his right hand, then drawing a girl face on his left hand, and having them make out. In most cartoons this would be a ten second gag. In Freakazoid it happens for five minutes. I think that's actually one of the show's extraordinary abilities. It has the talent of dragging out a joke until it's no longer funny, and then for some reason dragging it out longer than that, and suddenly this dumb joke is elaborated on for SO UNFATHOMABLY LONG that suddenly it is HILARIOUS again. This unorthodox formula has made me curl up into the fetal position from laughing so hard that it hurt to breathe, more than once.

And that one type of gag is not all there is to it. It's just crazy silly and random and very funny things happen on a regular basis. It's weird, cause initially it was going to be a straight up superhero action comic headed by Bruce Timm, the guy responsible for the oldschool Batman animated series. But apparently after the hero was designed, Steven Spielberg was like "Hey make this funny!" and the designers were like "Okay" and Bruce Timm was like "WHAT" and then it became a completely different show. I think this was a great decision because the old idea would have been pretty generic and unmemorable, the show that actually happened is one of the most unique and entertaining things I've seen pretty much ever.

Whenever you watch it and go "What the FUCK is happening", and this WILL happen at least once per episode, the show has succeeded in its goal. Freakazoid is basically trying to make your brain cry in confusion, and it frequently succeeds, and that is why I love this show so much. My buddy Max got me this for Christmas and it was an excellent gift. Thanks, buddy!

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Dr. Horrible is sort of like TV Geek porn. It's a musical about superheroes made by Joss Motherfucking Firefly Whedon, and starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion. See if you haven't already creamed your pants reading that then what are you doing on my website, I don't want to talk to you anymore, go away. Haha, I'm kidding! No, seriously! Wait! I'm sorry! Come baaack!

Those of you in the know might be going "What, Daniel, you can watch this for free on the internet. In this case you can actually LEGALLY watch this for free on the internet, what do you need a DVD for", and for one thing, my computer is terrible. It is seriously pretty awful for any purpose besides basic internet browsing purposes. It can barely stream video half the time, which is why in most cases I'd rather not bother and get whatever I want to watch in a format where I can easily watch it on my Xbox 360, which is also my DVD player. And even if that wasn't the case, the extras are pretty neat!

There's a commentary track called "Commentary! The Musical" and it is basically ANOTHER musical that you get to watch, or uh, listen to I guess. It's pretty amusing, it could have been better if the cast and crew spent more time singing about the movie they were watching instead of singing about themselves... oh wait, I guess it's an authentic DVD commentary experience after all! Also, fan-made videos from people trying to get into the Evil League of Evil. There's some pretty clever and funny stuff there, even though there are a couple that make you go "What seriously why did this get included, I want to die right now, I am watching this and it makes me want to die." Overall though, awesome gift.

Superman T-shirt

Dude isn't that awesome? He's heating up a TV dinner with his heat vision because he broke his microwave! That is adorable and hilarious. I have already worn it like twelve times. Yes, EXACTLY TWELVE I COUNT HOW MANY TIMES I WEAR SHIRTS

A Shitload of Capsules That Turn Into Foam Animals And Stuff When You Put Them In Water

Alright, this one probably requires a bit of backstory.

A lot of the time when I go shopping, I have a tendency to make dumb little impulse purchases. I know right, who saw THAT one coming? So one time my little sister Lindsay and I are going grocery shopping, or rather she was getting groceries and I was getting Oreo Cakesters, and I see a "Mystery Egg" that would emerge as a Duck or Dragon or something after being submerged in water for a few days. I get it and I got something lame like a snake, but that is irrelevant you can ignore that part.

Anyway, the season of giving rolls around and Lindsay asks me what I want for Christmas. I tell her "Get me something that's either awesome or hilarious, otherwise surprise me!", and well, mission accomplished, because I wasn't expecting this:

A bunch of dunk-em-in-water-and-out-comes-a-thing capsules! Like, a ridiculous amount of them!

It was a very silly and thoughtful gift, and I plan on dunking them all into a full bathtub at the same time and surprising her with it, so I hope she doesn't read this blog.

Naruto: The Broken Bond

So, I'm not really a Naruto fan. I read a bit of the manga back when I still subscribed to Shonen Jump, but other than that I've paid zero attention to the series other than vaguely hearing about the story skipping two years into the future or something. So it was kind of neat that my Dad bought this game for me, since I never would have bought it on my own, and it turned out to be not that bad a game.

The battles in this game use are basically straight up fighting game, and it's really neat. The fights are always pretty fun and chaotic, and although it already seems like the character roster is insanely unbalanced, the fighting is almost as fun to watch as it is to play. Basically really solid Japanese fighting game, right up there on the pointless-but-fun scale with the Dragon Ball Z Budokai series, which I have an unhealthy addiction to.

The single player portion, however, splits up the fighting with an action-adventure game format where you traverse the woods and whatnot in 3D, and that's not so well executed. It could have been, and gets some things right like solving puzzles with the characters' various special powers, too bad 90% of the missions are fetch quests. I did have fun with it, though, and sometimes Naruto turds himself when he fails a special move so BEST GAME EVER.

Rogue Galaxy

This was actually a pretty genius gift idea from my friend Sean. See, I've been crazy behind the times, since I didn't have a PS2 until just last month. I'd wanted one for quite a while, but I never actually buckled down and bought one until this last December. So I had a LOT of old PS2 games to catch up on, obviously. On top of that, Level-5 is one of my favorite game developers ever, since everything they develop (this includes Dragon Quest VIII and the Dark Cloud series) is a frigging blast to play. So this is a game that I've wanted to play for a while, and now I finally could.

And... it's a lot of fun. The gameplay basically has every feature that I love in an Action JRPG. The battle system kicked ass, fusing items is always pretty neat, and there's great little touches like your character model actually looking different depending on what item s/he has equipped. Unfortunately, I think Sony of America has some sort of rule within their localization team that goes something like this: "Before hiring voice actors and writing the dialogue, everyone on the team must fall head first down a flight of stairs. Twice."

This game takes place in the distant future, in the far reaches of space. So why does the Space Ram thing have a frigging scottish accent!? On top of that, why is there then a tribe of jungle amazons with no accent at all!?!? I had to stop playing for a while due to the controller shaped dent in my forehead. It's a shame that such a brilliantly designed game had to be muddled up by so much retard. Still, my complaints regarding the game are definitely far outweighed by the amount of fun I've had with it so far.

iPhone

First off: You're welcome, ladies!

So yeah, my mom got me an iPhone for Christmas, and it's what I used to take all these pictures. And it's really great! It has been my dream since age 12 to carry the internet around with me in my pants, and now I can finally do that almost 10 years later. It really is so dang awesome.

I guess that also means that my statement about getting no practical gifts isn't really true, since this is hella practical, but I've been having a lot of fun with it as well. I've already sampled a bunch of the system's various games, and while the vast majority of them are underwhelming so far, they've already got support from a few big game companies like Konami, Hudson, and Square-Enix, so I can't wait for the real games to start flowing in once they figure out the system's strengths and weaknesses as a gaming platform. I'm sure it'll happen, since that same learning process took place for the Nintendo DS, and it's taking place right now for the Wii.

The iPhone has also made me discover a love for podcasts I didn't know I had, and it also increased my addiction to things like Facebook and Wikipedia thanks to having dedicated iPhone apps for those things. It's really a blessing and a curse since now everytime I go to the bathroom I'm there for like half an hour. I mean, everything I need is right there! An internet for internetting, and a toilet for pooping! Move a fridge in there and that's where I could LIVE.

Overall, I enjoyed every single gift I got. I got a fantastic Christmas Haul in 2008, and it's helped me start my 2009 off fantastically.

Merry Middle of January, everybody!

Catching Up: The Best of 2008

2009-01-15T06:15:00.002-05:00

Happy 2009, everyone!

So 2008 has come and gone, and a whole lot of great stuff has happened. In fact, so much great stuff happened that I was off doing all of it and therefore was totally unable to update this blog! Oh boy a whole lot of great stuff! It was so great!

Yeah!

....

Okay, that was a lie.

What actually happened was a whole lot of me being lazy.

...In other words, 2008 was just like every other year.

But hey, a new year means a fresh start, so maybe I can start paying more attention to this website. Freshly. Like I've said before, I really do want to start updating this blog on a regular basis. The beginning of a new year seems like a good opportunity to make that wish a reality, so that's what I'm going to try and make happen. Anyways, I think the best way to start off what will hopefully be a whole bunch of 2009 updates is to get 2008 out of the way. Cause you know what, a whole lot of great stuff did happen last year in the world of Things I Like To Waste My Time On, and I want to write about them.

So without further ado, here's AtA's Best of 2008: A list of the past year's highlights!

Webcomics

Nedroid Comics

Nedroid is one of the webcomics that I just discovered this year. Actually, that would be slightly inaccurate. I was made aware of the comic sometime last year when I was linked to the creator's 200 Bad Comics project, which I think is pretty self explanatory from the name, and oh man it was wonderful and hilarious. So I looked at his other past comics a bit, most of them cute little shorts starring Beartato (the ingenious combination of a bear and a potato) and his friends. And those galleries were all great, clever stuff. At that point my attention span turned me elsewhere and it wasn't till a year later that I found out that the author, Anthony Clark, was still making comics regularly. I have been checking them out since and so many of them are pure freaking gold. On top of that he's a really good artist, and he does really awesome collaborative work with other internet pseudo-celebrities like Emmy Cicierega.

I'm glad I rediscovered this little gem, because 2009 is already looking like it's going to be a great year for the comic.

Daisy Owl

Here's another comic I just got into recently. It just started being made this year, and even this early on it is really awesome and promising. The art, while simplistic, fits the feel of the comic perfectly, which is kind of like a modern Calvin and Hobbes, except Calvin is a girl, and Hobbes is her little brother, and their dad is a talking owl with a bear for a best friend, and okay it isn't like Calvin and Hobbes at all. But it is very cute and very, very funny. I am really looking forward to seeing where the comic goes from here, because if it keeps up the same level of quality it'll be one of my favorite all time comics for sure.

Sam and Fuzzy

Speaking of "one of my favorite all time comics for sure", Sam and Fuzzy is this amazing long form comic that I've been following for-freaking-ever, and guess what? It is still pretty amazing, you guys.

It's come a long way from where it started out, which was a four panel gag comic that not-so-subtly ripped off of the Sam and Max franchise. It's slowly evolved from those humble beginnings into this epic action-comedy thriller about a nerdy, unlucky guy and his cuddly, pathologically insane bear friend who get tied up in a vast conspiracy that involves ninjas who are also part of the mafia. Actually it's a mafia made of ninjas. I should probably be extra clear on this and mention that they are called the Ninja Mafia. You obviously wouldn't have been able to figure this out on your own so I figured I'd help.

It very recently ended the storyline I just mentioned, which took about three entire years to complete. A story that long drug on at times, sure, but when the storytelling was on, it was freaking on, man. I can't wait for the next storyline, which I hope will be just as epic and hilarious as the one before it, especially since it's not very often I get to use those two words in the same sentence.

Gunnerkrigg Court

Another heavily story-based comic, Gunnerkrigg Court is a story about a young girl named Antimony Carver who gets sent to the eponymous school, and she meets a bunch of quirky and/or charming characters while some crazy spooky awesome things happen. The comic feels kinda like what Harry Potter might end up being if the series was written by Neil Gaiman or something, and if the magic wasn't so much the focus as the mythology of how the school came to be, and why things are the way they are in Annie's life. The first couple chapters get things off kind of slow and the drawing's kind of rough at the start, but the story's been nothing but awesome for the past couple of years.

It is also one of the girliest things I have ever read and professing my love for it is kind of embarrassing.

Dinosaur Comics

I will never understand how consistently amazingly written this comic is. We've been looking at the exact same image of talking dinosaurs for like six friggin years now and somehow it hasn't gotten stale yet. In the hand of most authors it probably would be right now, but eight times out of ten, Ryan North attributes dialogue to these characters that has led to me naming this my Favorite Comic of 2008.

The best Dinosaur Comics this year, in my opinion, would have to be the two where T-Rex and Utahraptor write a story about a dude named Tina, and the very last new comic of 2008 where T-Rex complains about Daffy Duck.

Runners Up:
Order of the Stick: This DnD stick figure epic is actually generally one of my favorite webcomics, it's just that this year in general the story's just been plodding along and not much has happened to make me go "Oh man I am pooping myself with how amazing that thing that just happened was! Poop poopa doo!". Cause yeah I say that at least twice a day.

Penny Arcade: Again, usually a great comic, just nothing outstanding this year.

Anyways time for a new category. This might take a while to write.

Video Games

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

So if you didn't look at the headline and assume I would be talking about Brawl at least somewhere in this entry, then I guess you're not one of the two people that usually read this blog. If you DID assume, then good job on assuming correctly! Are... are you proud of yourself?

Anyways I did have a tremendous amount of fun with this game. The new characters and stages were all pretty great, as well the giant explosion of wonderful fanservice that was the Subspace Emissary. Plus, both the quality and variety of remixes of classic Nintendo tunes means that this game probably wins my award for Best Video Game Soundtrack of 2008, hands down. Even though it needed more Ballad of the Wind Fish and Eight Memories. Still, the game was a gigantic, solid package (kind of like the one in my pants), looked GREAT (for a Wii game), and was basically a Nintendo fan's dream (I am a Nintendo fan hello), and.... yeah (I like to make useless comments in parentheses).

And yet, it wasn't half as engaging or addictive as Melee. I played Brawl for a month straight before I got tired of it, but that doesn't even hold a candle to me playing Melee for seven years before I finally stopped picking it up every week. I think that when Sakurai made the game more accessible and more of a party game instead of a competitive fighting game, he took out the best part of the series. When you beat an opponent in Melee, there was a sense of accomplishment. You were skilled enough to beat someone at an equal or sometimes greater level than you. When you beat that same person in Brawl, you go "Oh sweet, the random elements of the game favored me instead of him this time". Even no-items matches are less challenging thanks to the random tripping element and everyone falling in slow motion.

Not that the way the game is now isn't fun! I guess it just means that I didn't get as much long term enjoyment out of the new installment as I'd hoped, and that makes me a little sad. On the bright side, maybe Sakurai'll go back to the game's competitive roots when he inevitably makes another sequel in five years or so.

If you didn't notice, I used the word "explosion" to link to an article about farts. This is because I am both sexy and clever.

Mirror's Edge

"Whoa hey that's some pretty good dancing you're doing there, hey I can dance too, check this out, I call this one the 'Soulja Boy'"

Anyways. This game gets the "At Least You Tried and That's Why I Love You" Award for 2008.

When I saw the first trailer, it looked neat, but I was only vaguely interested. I mean, first-person parkour game? How could that possibly control well? It was a great concept, and I was both appreciative and proud of EA for trying something new and interesting, but since it was so unique and never been attempted before, there was also a whole lot that could go wrong. So I decided to stay cautiously optimistic. Eventually the demo came out and oh man I got excited. The controls were perfect, the gameplay was awesome. I felt like a freaking urban ninja and it was so great.

So after that I got the full game on day one, and was it worth it? Well, kinda! The parkour segments for the most part were pure bliss, especially the first couple levels worth. But the farther I got into the game, there was increasingly less emphasis on dancing around the city like it's a big metal-and-concrete playground, and more on "HEY MAN HERE'S 20 GUARDS, DISARM THEM ONE AT A TIME", and so it started getting frustrating. On top of that, the graphics were the most beautiful I've ever seen on the 360... so why do the cutscenes look like I'm watching an Esurance commercial? And on that note the story and dialogue were terrible.

Those flaws aside, though, I still had a lot of fun playing it, and the gameplay was certainly a breath of fresh air compared to the other "This time the grizzled badass with a gun has a triceratops tattoo on his butt instead of a skull!" first person shooters of this generation.

Perhaps the biggest tragedy is that I didn't even get a chance to finish the game and see if it improved. I lent it to a friend while my 360 was getting repaired, and in that timespan he broke the game disc! It was terrible and I was sad.

Castle Crashers

So I've already mentioned that I think Castle Crashers is great, and guess what? I still do! Not only have I beaten the game twice since then, but it's also finally gotten a patch that makes the game not delete your save files. Apparently online play also doesn't suck anymore, but I don't really know since I haven't tried it yet.

In my most recent playthrough I have been playing as a Beekeeper who attacks things by throwing bees at them. If that doesn't qualify it for game of the year I don't know what does.

Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4

Here's a game that kind of snuck up on me. A couple of months ago I didn't even know it existed. I'm aware of the Shin Megami Tensei series, and have enjoyed its Pokemon-with-demons gameplay in the past. However, I didn't know a new game in the series had been made for the PS2 until early December, when I suddenly saw it get two perfect 10 reviews in a row. So I went "WHAT" and then I bought a PS2.

Basically, the game is.... uh... it is very, VERY Japanese. You are a high school student who got transferred to a new school in a small town because your mother died. Days after you visit, a series of murders occur. You and some friends you just made decide to investigate, and you discover that you have the power to enter televisions, which grant you a portal to the spirit world. Soon after that you get your first Persona, spirit reflections of your personality that are also based off tarot cards, granted to a mortal when s/he faces a demonic personification of his/her secret feelings. Then you and your friends use your Personas, and the assistance of a giant talking bear, to solve the murder mystery. Also there's two distinct play styles. While the first is more or less like a typical JRPG, the second type of gameplay feels like... like a dating sim.

Did I mention how Japanese this game was?

Anyways, despite the amount of times I facepalmed while writing that synopsis, it actually works really well and is a whole lot of fun. Unfortunately it is also a whole lot of HARD and I haven't beaten it yet because I'm stuck on a pretty ridiculous boss right now. I will go back and beat it though, if only so my main character can earn sweet sweet makeouts from Chie Satonaka. Oh Chie, you're a spunky tomboy and that isn't a cliche anime archetype or anything at all.

The World Ends With You

I had to think about this for a little while, but I think TWEWY (go ahead and say that abbreviation out loud, by the way, as if it were a word. Hours of fun!) is my Game of the Year. I know, right? I'm as surprised by that decision as you probably are, but I just wasn't expecting the game to rock as much as it did, especially considering the way it started out.

The opening cutscene of the game made me think the game was going to be awful. It involved the main character, Neku Sakuraba, striking a bunch of poses, all of them portraying his angst and isolation, punctuated by him spouting gems such as "Outta my face! You're blocking my view" and "All the world needs is me. I got my values, so you can keep yours... all right?" I am not even kidding, this is all delivered with a straight face. The first few chapters aren't much better storywise, as the cast covers Every Anime Cliche Ever Created, and the "omg I'm dead I must recover my past!" angle... doesn't sound familiar at all! *snicker*

Still, the battle system, which had you a equip a customizable deck of Pins that gave you different abilities you could use with the touch screen, was really neat. So I tolerated the story while I enjoyed the gameplay, while more neat elements kept surfacing. For example, all your pins and clothing (which serves as the game's equipment, makes sense) have specific brands. As you go through the game's setting, the city of Shibuya, certain brands are more popular in some parts of the city than others. If you battle with pins or clothes of a popular brand equipped they'll be more powerful. Also, you have a stat called "Bravery", and if it's high enough you can wear girl's clothing. It was little unique touches like that that made the game start to grow on me.

Then, the unexpected happened: the characters started to develop unpredictably. The story began to gain depth. The writing became kind of good. And then suddenly I was wrapped into the entire experience. I fell in love with the characters, laughed at the jokes, got a little teary at the dramatic scenes (but not much because I am a manly stud(, and started grinding through levels. Not because the game forced me to, but because I wanted to unlock more pins and special items that could only be obtained through special quests and challenges. The game got me addicted to an extent that not even Brawl had managed earlier that year. I played pretty much nonstop right until the ending, which was a total mindfuck. And even then it turned out the game wasn't completely over. By achieving various post-game objectives, I could unlock one of the cast's secret journals that unraveled even more of the game's deep backstory. It was awesome, and added a buttload of replay value.

So yeah, TWEWY is my favorite game of the year, and it's also one of my favorite DS games of all time. I hope Square-Enix has Jupiter working on another title this unique and interesting.

Runner Ups:
Grand Theft Auto IV: I almost put this on my main list just due to the sheer amount of detail and perfect little touches put into this game. However I decided on a max of 5 main entries per list to keep the length psuedo-reasonable. Just know that this was a really close sixth, and it's not like this game isn't on enough Best Game of 2008 releases already, so I doubt its feelings will be hurt.

Mega Man 9: This 2008 throwback to 1988 was a lot of fun. It really felt like a NES game, and it was just as enjoyable and freaking hard as one. It's only a runner up because I feel that it plays things too safe in the long run, and never really steps out from being kind of an expansion pack to Mega Man 2.

Fallout 3: This game has fantastic, fantastic production values and I enjoyed what I played of it. But for some reason I could never play for more than a couple of hours at a time before I just wanted to do something else. It does a lot of great things I want out of a game, but there doesn't seem to be much heart put into it. Maybe it wouldn't feel that way if all the NPCs didn't look like soulless mannequins whenever you talked to them.

No More Heroes: I love, love, love the cheesy B-movie feel of the game's cutscenes, as well as the awesome boss battles. However, I'm also aware of its shortcomings as an actual game. A sequel's been announced that'll apparently fix those flaws, though, so I'm looking forward to it.

Strong Bad's Cool Game For Attractive People: These games, of which I've played 3 out of 5, are hilarious and emulate the Homestar Runner feel pretty well. Too bad they're only okay as far as actual adventure games go.

Internet Videos

There she is!!

Hey, remember when I talked about this in the last post I made back in August? Well I already linked to that post when I talked about Castle Crashers, and it'd be silly to do it again so I'm not going to. But in between then and now, the fifth and final episode of the series hit the internet!

Last time I talked about there she is!!, I mentioned that while the fourth episode was good and well made, it was also really dark and depressing, and this would only be okay if the fifth one made up for it by being wonderful and adorable. Without spoiling too much, I can confidently say that it does so, and in spades. The series in total is probably my favorite internet video series thing of 2008.

It's really sweet and cute and you should go watch it.

Super Mario Bros Z

Back when I discovered this series in 2007, I saw the name, got the jist of the concept, and figured it would be terrible. I decided to watch the first episode anyways, and it was okay. Not great or anything, and I remember going "How is this anything like Mario OR DBZ" the whole time. So I stopped watching and went on my merry way through the vast caverns of the internet.

A couple months later I decide to give it another shot and watch Episode 2, and it was actually pretty neat! The author was able to implement really fun, well-choreographed fight scenes using simple 2D sprites, and both the plot and dialogue were starting to reveal themselves as a pretty amusing tribute/parody to Dragon Ball Z, starring various Mario and Sonic characters. And from there the series kept getting better. The creator kept learning new tricks, and subsequent fight scenes got increasingly badass, and I have been genuinely impressed that the latter half of the series has been actually good.

Recently the dude making these got tired of the series and went on hiatus for a while, but near the end of last year he made the 7th episode of the series, and it's one of the best so far. If you like Mario, Sonic, Dragon Ball Z, or if you like making fun of at least one of those things, I'd totally check it out, because I fill those criteria and I enjoyed it.

Don't watch the Intro if you don't want spoilers for events that haven't happened in the series yet, though. That's kind of silly, right? A show's intro having spoilers? Haha, what's next, a woman having a penis?

... Actually don't go to any Japanese websites either.

TV Shows

LOST

Warning potential LOST watchers and LOST watchers that haven't seen the whole series before Season 5 yet! Generally I've been pretty vague about huge plot twists and whatnot in the things I've been covering, but here I pretty much explicitly mention a couple of spoilers from Season 4 and previous seasons. If you don't want this ruined for you, just scroll past till I start talking about Avatar.

So if you've watched the show from the beginning, it's likely that you'll already know how good it is. And if you haven't, you've probably already resigned yourself to not understanding a single dang thing people who watch it are talking about.

Anyways, Season 4 was aired early last year, and even though it got Writer's Strike'd, it was still really good. Or should I say, parts of it were really good. On one hand it wasn't really as good overall as the last half of Season 3, but on the other hand it has had a couple of standout episodes that are among the best in the entire series.

I think I have three favorite episodes this season. The first would be "The Constant", because aww Desmond and Penny. I was initially tentative on loving this episode because I figured the writers would never give us a happy ending between the two, and this was just more teasing. Thankfully I already get to eat my hat on that one! Even if they don't live happily ever after permanently, them reuniting at the end of the season was wonderful.

My second favorite would be the creeptastic "The Other Woman", because the guy who plays Ben is such a fantastic actor. My third favorite would be "The Shape of Things to Come", because ditto my reason about that last episode, and it also it has one of the funniest scenes of the whole season even though I think the humor was unintentional. There's one scene where The Others' village is getting attacked by Widmore's men, and a person exiting their house gets shot. Sawyer notices this, and yells at a second person coming out of the house, "GET BACK INSIDE", and while he's yelling this, that person gets shot in the head and dies. This happens THREE SEPARATE TIMES before Sawyer finally gives up and makes a run for it. You probably had to be there but it was hilarious.

The finale was also great, but like I've said before, not as great as Season 3's. Still, it has me looking forward to Season 5, which is less than a week away. And that's great, since I have all these questions:

How will Daniel find the island again?

Is Jin still alive?

Will Sawyer ever find a shirt to put on?

...Why am I wearing this dress?

Why are you feeding me breakfast?

Avatar: The Last Airbender

I'd been hearing great things about this series for years, but I never checked it out aside from a couple of episodes I happened to catch every once in a while. This wasn't because I didn't want to see the whole thing, cause I actually was really interested. It was mostly cause I didn't want to spend 80 bucks on a DVD set. I spend ridiculous amounts of money on dumb things sometimes, but even I have my limits, and I think the limit for DVD sets is in the general area of 80 freaking dollars.

Recently though, the price got lowered to 40-50 a season, which is still pretty expensive but I figured it was as low as it was going to get for a while. So I bought the first season to see if the rest of the series was worth buying. Shortly after I bought the second season, and shortly after that I watched the third. I have now seen the entire series to date, and this show is great and really well done.

The strongest points of the series definitely include the well-built universe, with its own mythology and folk tales and everything, the neat bending system that actually manages to surprise me with cool and plausible new uses for the elements as the series goes on, and most of all some of the coolest fucking mega badass animated fight scenes I have ever seen in my entire lifetime. This was me during a fight scene in Season 2: "Oh my god oh my god ohmygodohmygod OH MY GODDDDD FUCK YESSSS! HOLY SHIT!! FUUUCK! FUCK YEAH THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME OH MY SHIT OH MAN- *rewinds DVD*"

My favorite characters probably had to be Sokka, the smartass with no powers who eventually becomes the Batman of the group, Iroh, the wise old Fire General who is also a smartass but he's more cool about it, and Toph, the blind Earthbender who is a total freaking monster on the battlefield with her awesome powers, and also she's a smartass too but in an adorable way. What can I say, the smartasses get the best lines.

The worst part was definitely that the series ended waaay too soon. It felt like there could have been an entire season's worth of episodes in between the first half of the third season and the final conflict. There was so much backstory and character background that was implied, but we missed out on it because it couldn't be crammed into their last 20 episodes. I only hope that we get some sort of Direct-to-DVD-or-TV-or-something animated Epilogue that shows the aftermath of the end of the war in the main series, cause I'm not done with this universe yet.

Overall, great series... a little too much focus on 12 year olds making out. I think I cringed every time Aang said the word "love". Dude I know you think she's pretty but you're the most powerful being on the planet! Play the field a little first!

Chuck

And finally, my award for Best TV Show of 2008!

I am going to make this quick.

A nerd accidentally downloads the entire government onto his brain and two spies are hired to protect him. One of the spies is Jayne from Firefly (one of the best shows ever), and the other spy is a hot blonde. Wacky spy shenanigans occur.

And it's awesome and hilarious!

That's all you need to know, go watch it!

And that's it, that's all my favorite stuff of 2008! I might have forgot some stuff, so maybe in the near future I'll edit this or add an addendum or something.

Now if you all don't mind, this took way too long to finish so I'm going to go pass out now.

By the way, I'm planning on making this a once a week thing from now on, and I think I have a system set up so it'll actually stick this time. Stay tuned!

Awgh, Aww, Aw Yeah: Awgust 2008

2008-08-31T17:05:00.008-04:00

Hey guys, how was your summer? Mine was pretty good, as I did a lot of things. One of those things was NOT keeping up with my blog update schedule! Ha ha! Ha...hm.

But I'm back, because I do still really like the idea of having a regularly maintained blog where I write about all the things I enjoy (and some things I don't but still apply to my nerdy, sexy interests), so here I go again! And dang it, I'm gonna keep picking this internet horse back up until I'm satisfied I've gotten things right! Or, you know, till my laziness consumes me more than my interest in this does. Anyways!

I'm going to kick this bitch off with a little experiment that I might turn into a monthly thing if I enjoy it enough. It is called Awgh, Aww, Aw Yeah. Basically the post will consist of something this month that annoyed me or that I thought was awful (Awgh), something that was adorable and/or really sad (Aww), and finally, something that was really freakin awesome and most likely my obsession of the month (Aw Yeah!). That way I get to write a-plenty and you, the reader, get a nice varied serving of emotions on a single e-plate! So let's get this started and see how this goes.

Awgh: Tim Buckley's Drama Comix, I mean Ctrl+Alt+Del

I know I'm way later than the rest of the internet when it comes to complaining about this, but the obnoxiousness has been back in full force lately so I'm going to do it anyways. Now, I don't hate this comic as much as the average person on the internet who enjoys hating things, but it's definitely not one of my favorites. It's actually pretty good stuff on occasion, but more often that not it just seems to be lacking a few things. Like, you know, effort. And especially recently, humor.

Up until a few months ago, it was a pretty basic gaming comic about gamers who say witty things about video games and also occasionally play them. You had Ethan the crazy eccentric witty gamer, Lucas the realistic down-to earth witty gamer, Lilah the female witty gamer, and Zeke the wacky robot who makes robot jokes but also mostly acts like a human witty gamer. When they weren't saying witty things about video games, or doing witty things involving video games, they'd have mostly light-hearted story arcs that focused on their own lives. In one of these arcs, Ethan starts dating Lilah, and he eventually gets engaged to her, and then he impregnates her. And at that point it was kind of weird, but okay this can still be a good comic, he can have a son or something and the series wouldn't neccessarily turn into "Parenthood Phunnies".

Well uh, Lilah has a miscarriage. The author writes an accompanying journal post about how his ex-girlfriend had a miscarriage and he wanted to ~~use his webcomic as an outlet to vent~~ see how the situation would affect his own characters. Well I dunno about the characters, but the whole thing has affected me terribly. Especially when the robot started getting involved. Why did the goofy robot character have to play a part in the EXTREMELY SERIOUS miscarriage storyline!? It was so awkward and terrible.

And even after that, I tried to find optimism in the situation. "Well, maybe the drama's out of his system now and future strips won't be so bad." Turns out uh no that doesn't happen. Not only has the miscarriage created a "terrible rift" between Ethan and Lilah's "precious love", now there's a new storyline where OH NO LILAH'S RICH EX-BOYFRIEND IS COMING BACK INTO THE PICTURE, and OH MY GOSH LUCAS' GIRLFRIEND IS A-SLEEPIN AROUND! GASP! Not only have these plot "twists" been a pain in the ass to read, but they've also been, for the most part, boringly predictable. It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm still reading comedy, it's just unintentional comedy now. It's turned into one of the many decent comics turned mediocre that I can't stop reading. I try, but I've become addicted, and now I'm doomed to eventually read a comic where at least one of the title characters falls to their knees under the weight of their own despair, every three panels.

Anyways time to talk about things that are cute.

Aww: There she is!!

I'm probably late to talking about this too, since it's apparently been around since 2004, even though I just discovered it. In any case, my "Aww" for the month is this little series of Korean flash animations called There she is!!. You can tell right off the bat that it is an exciting series, because there are two exclamation points right there in the title! I'd highly recommend watching all four installments, because they're adorable. Well actually the fourth one not so much, but I'll get to that in a second.

If you want to know the basic gist of the series before watching it, basically it is about a bunny (named "Doki") who falls in love with a cat (named "Nabi"), in a world where love between the two species is forbidden. The episodes generally involve the antics of the bunny going "Aw I love you let's be in love!", and the cat going "Aw man I don't wanna be in love with a bunny it's socially unacceptable get away from me!", and then the cat eventually going "Aw man I am in love, crap". Apparently it was made as a social commentary on intermarriage between Japan, North Korea, and South Korea, but most importantly it is a cartoon abut a cat and a bunny being cute together while catchy Korean music plays in the background.

The series is supposed to have a total of five episodes, of which only four have been made so far. I hope the fifth one gets made soon, because the fourth one ends on a really, really depressing cliffhanger that completely changes the tone established in the previous three shorts. It's up to the fifth one to redeem that by being TEN TIMES AS ADORABLE, so that BETTER HAPPEN.

Aw Yeah: Castle Crashers

Castle Crashers is a little project, well, more like a huge, year-long project, made by The Behemoth, the team responsible for Alien Hominid. It's a side-scrolling beat-em-up game that basically takes every other side-scrolling beat-em-up ever made, then takes the best elements out of all those games and puts it into a single package. You've got your mounts from Golden Axe, your RPG elements from Gauntlet, your elevator stage from TMNT, and when it comes time to kiss the princess, you have to beat up your fellow players to win the chance to do it, just like in Double Dragon! Also there is a shitload of unlockable characters, weapons, and adorable animal powerups, which all give the game a pretty immense replay value after you've beaten the game once.

Really, I could have given an "Aw Yeah" to Xbox Live Arcade this month in general, since it's been just plain great lately. I mean, in August alone we got the following besides Castle Crashers:

-Braid, this nice, artsy little game with an apparently amazing ending that I haven't seen yet cause I still need to beat it.
-Bionic Commando: Rearmed, a remake of the original NES game, which modernizes the game fantastically. What I've played of the game is great.
-The demo for Star Wars: Force Unleashed, which turned the game from a "must rent" to a "probably buy" for me. You just feel like a total epic badass while playing.

And yet, although Force Unleashed earns a close second, Castle Crashers without a doubt is the most fun I've had all month. The cartoony art style is brilliantly done, and the gameplay is fairly simple but also pretty engaging and addictive. The coup de grace, though, is the game's silly sense of humor. Some of it is over the top, sure, like the fact that there is an entire level dedicated to pooping forest animals, but the juvenile humor is crafted in such away that it definitely works in the title's favor. Every time I play through the game again, I find a new goofy little thing that makes me giggle. Sure it has online issues and other glitches and bugs, but those'll be fixed soon with a patch, and even with those flaws it's already one of my favorite games out of the ones I've played on the 360, hands down.

So yeah, that was my month. I laughed, and I cried! And uh, got angry I guess.

Bye!

Nintendo's Nonofferings: The Wii Hard Drive

2008-05-13T09:43:00.004-04:00

Everyone who knows me in person (a qualifier which currently also applies to everyone who follows this blog) knows that I'm a pretty big fan of Nintendo and its console/handheld offerings, both present and past. Not that I'm a complete fanatic of the company, though. I currently own a 360 on top of my Wii and DS, and I kind of want a PS3. But Nintendo always has this additional charm that wins me over just a little more. Microsoft and Sony are the kind of corporate giant that sometimes invoke in me a desire for awesome, sloppy makeouts... but only Nintendo makes me want to stay afterwards for cuddles. Smoochy cuddles!

But even I know that Nintendo isn't perfect, and neither are their systems. I'm talking about the Wii in this instance, and one of the console's more glaring flaws that has been plaguing me a lot lately: its lack of storage space.

The title of this blog post is actually technically incorrect, as the Wii actually uses a flash drive for memory. Flash drives are apparently faster, smaller, more power-friendly, and more durable than a regular hard drive. And that's all great. Unfortunately, Nintendo also decided it was a good idea that the drive only held 512 megabytes of memory. And since some of the downloadble content offered on the system's Wii Shop Channel service can be upwards of 50 megabytes in size, that space can tend to fill up really, really quickly.

And what is Nintendo doing about this? So far, nothing. The majority of Wii owners won't have to deal with this problem, as 90% of Wii games available in stores right now use less than 1MB of the system's space for save data. The games that use more than that generally use 30MB at most. Sure, that'll add up eventually, but it'll be nothing to worry about for most of the Wii's lifespan. The only way a consumer could already have filled up the Wii's FD in its 1.5 years of life so far is if they downloaded a lot of Virtual Console games. That has to be a minuscule amount of the Wii's userbase, right?

Well guess what, Nintendo.

I DO DOWNLOAD A LOT OF VIRTUAL CONSOLE GAMES.

IT IS GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I HAD TO DELETE A COUPLE FOR EVERY NEW GAME I DOWNLOADED, AND TODAY I FINALLY DELETED MOST OF MY CATALOG SO I COULD FEEL LIKE I HAD THE FREEDOM TO DOWNLOAD NEW THINGS AGAIN.

THIS SHOULD NOT BE THE SOLUTION TO MY PROBLEM.

GIVE US AN ALTERNATE STORAGE SOLUTION AT E3, IF NOT BEFORE THEN, OR I WILL MARCH DOWN TO NOA HEADQUARTERS AND EAT YOUR GODDAMN BALLS.

This has been my objective and professional look at Nintendo's storage space.

Tune in next time when I try to update more than twice a month, and probably end up failing again!

Ace Attorney? Prosecution Pro!

2008-04-09T22:12:00.001-04:00

Okay guys who put this semen in my pants? Whoops it was me!

So anyways, as I've mentioned before, I love the Gyatuken Saiban series (known as Ace Attorney in the States) a pretty good deal. The latest game in the storyline came out in February I think, and I bought it and subsequently beat it. I was initially dissapointed and frustrated with the game, but the second case was awesome, and the final case made up for EVERYTHING. It went from the worst installment of Ace Attorney in my eyes to one of the best, in the span of that single case. Holy crap can this team weave a frickin amazing story. Dudes seriously!

And right after I beat the game, there was an announcement that there would be an announcement(um wait a minute) sometime in April, and it would involve the Ace Attorney series somehow. Well it was revealed via Famitsu last night, and it's a spinoff that's been way overdue: a game that gives us the characters and writing we love, but actually significantly changes the gameplay, which is good because it was getting a bit stale after four games of more or less the same thing.

The focus of this new game is hinted at in the title being "Gyatuken Kenji" (Turnabout Prosecutor) instead of "Gyatuken Saiban" (Turnabout Courtroom). People on the internet have been calling the game "Perfect Prosecutor", but this name is fan-made and not official by any means. Anyways, the first thing the Japanese title gives away is obviously that the main character is a prosecutor instead of a defense attorney this time, and turns out that it's no other than champion badass of the franchise, Miles Edgeworth! Yaaaay!

The other new revelation from the game's new title is the absence of the word "Courtroom". You are probably wondering, "Why is that? Actually wait why am I wondering this. They probably just wanted to draw attention to the fact that you're a prosecutor this time, the fact that it replaces the word Courtroom is irrelevant. You're stupid, stop talking", and it's awfully mean of you to come to that conclusion. I think you're a jerk, reader. Especially cause it IS relevant! From what we know so far, Edgeworth doesn't do the whole trials thing at all in this game, and instead all the emphasis is in investigating crime scenes and interrogating the eccentric cast members of the game. And because Capcom probably realized that hey, making an Ace Attorney spinoff out of just the boring parts is probably a bad idea, the usual interface of the franchise is mixed with a brand new approach.

That's right, you actually move the character around on the screen instead of navigating by clicking on pictures! You actually get to see your character interact with objects and stuff instead of listen to him narrate what he's doing with static images. And while this seems like a step backwards in some ways, the interrogation sequences still have the glorious animated character portraits. There's a lot of familiar gameplay elements, but it looks like the game will still feel completely different from the main series. I have yet to determine whether the approach taken here is a good thing, but it's hard to be upset. I mean, look! Gumshoe is your sidekick! Best game ever!

Oh, Gumshoe! Life hates you, and that makes you adorable.

Moving on, I was initially going to let loose with various speculation about where this game's going to go, both in terms of storyline and the franchise's future, but that was before I saw the first screenshots, which weren't what I was expecting at all, and make it pretty clear that it's too soon to say exactly what's going to happen. Even so, I think I'm going to conclude by hazarding a guess as to where this goes in the game's timeline.

See, the events of the Phoenix Wright trilogy are so tightly packed that I severely doubt that Turnabout Prosecutor takes place between any of those three games like some people are suggesting. Especially since at the end of both the first and second games, Edgeworth is taking a freaking plane out of the country. And although it'd be pretty sweet if this was a direct prequel to the first Phoenix Wright game, it makes the most sense for the game to take place in between Phoenix Wright 3 and Apollo Justice, more specifically right after the events in which Phoenix loses his badge. This would be awesome because it'd answer the "What happened to Edgeworth and Gumshoe?" question that I asked myself after playing AA4, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that asked that question.

Even though it's pretty obvious that they eloped.

Yeah, that's right.

Gumshoe eats Edgeworth's ramen noodles every night.

Wario's Fart Attack, aka Why Brawl is Amazing

2008-04-03T22:56:00.000-04:00

So I'm a pretty big fan of the Smash Bros series. Early last month the latest game in the series, Super Smash Bros Brawl, finally came out in the States after two years (and two delays), and I bought the game mere hours after it was released to the general public. And then I played it, which is generally what people do when they buy video games, and it was AWESOME. As in almost as good as all the hype, which I thought would have been impossible. Over the span of a month, I have unlocked every character, every stage, all the music, and am (I think?) a mere dozen Challenges away from beating every one in the game. Now you know what I've been doing instead of making blog posts!

So like I've mentioned, the game is wonderful. I can't keep away from it, and I think I know why. I mean, there's actually a lot of reasons. The character roster isn't perfect but it's close, the single player mode is awesome and filled with nostalgic/hilarious/badass cutscenes, the amount of unlockable content and Nintendo fanservice verges on ridiculous, and Sonic manages to be in a fun game for the first time in almost a decade. (Well, that's harsh. I should have said a fun console game for the first time in almost a decade.) And yet, I think what gives me the most joy in this game is the ability to kill people with my butt.

Wario is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of Nintendo's big pile of franchises, and I both wanted and expected him to be in the next installment of Smash Bros even before Brawl was announced. What I didn't expect was for him to be introduced as the comic relief character, representing his spinoff series, WarioWare. I guess this came as a surprise for me since I wanted him as a Smash character before WarioWare even existed, so I always figured that when he was introduced to the Nintendo fighting legacy, it would be as a representative of the Mario franchise, and wearing his yellow duds. And of course he wasn't (though his original outfit is an alternate costume), but at least it was a pleasant surprise, because I freaking love the WarioWare series! It's amongst the most fun I've had playing video games.

Like the WarioWare series itself, Wario's character and moves were introduced as very goofy and in stark contrast to the kind-of-ridiculous-but-always-takes-itself-seriously fighting style of most of the other combatants in the Smash roster. Seriously, Captain Falcon jumping around flamboyantly and shouting out names for all his attacks looks like freaking Hamlet when put next to Wario eating his motorcycle. And everything he does is pretty much that silly, from his normal attacks to his running animation, but somehow Sakurai and Game Arts come up with an attack over the top enough to make all that seem...

Wait, wait, wait. I'm totally overhyping with those last few sentences. Let's try this again.

The dude farts, okay.

Everyone does it, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Wario in particular just has a unusually strong need to do it in public, on top of people, and once every two minutes.

Anyways, I already loved Wario, but this attack in particular, oficially dubbed the "Wario Waft", is probably the main reason I'm making him one of my "mains". One reason I love it so much is since it changes in strength and appearance the longer you go without using it, it's an attack that has a pretty wide variety of use. For example, if you use it without letting it charge at all, it actually works pretty well as a fourth taunt.

However, if you wait until it's fully charged, and then use it while you're right next to your opponent, the result is devastating, and probably one of the strongest attacks in the game. I was actually reading a couple of character strategy guides the other day, and was surprised to find out that a fully charged Wario Waft by itself will do nearly 40% damage %, with pretty crazy knockback. (To compare, Jigglypuff's Sleep move only does about 23% damage.) The guide goes on to say that if you use the fully charged attack during the effects of Wario's Final Smash, where he runs around in pink pajamas calling himself Wario-Man, the damage and knockback doubles. For those of you unsure what I mean, it's basically equal to hitting you with a Home-Run Bat, except Home-Run Bats don't usually come out of my butt. Unless you get me drunk enough, wink!

And despite those ridiculous stats, the attack's actually pretty balanced. You have to wait a full two minutes before you can use it at its full capacity (though the process can be sped up slightly by using his Bite attack to eat a lot of items), and then you only have one shot at being right next to your opponent when you use it, and if you mess it up you have to wait another two minutes, by which point the match will probably already be over. Not to mention that for the one-hit KO, you have to be lucky enough to catch and use a Smash Ball on top of the other requirements, meaning that it will almost never happen against an opponent of equal skill. As a result, it's really satisfying to pull off. I would say that doing it successfully causes the opponent great frustration and embarrassment, but what actually happens is that I stomp around giggling like a retard while the other player sits there wondering how I can possibly be older than him.

Whatever, okay? My name is Daniel Thoreson, and I think it is TOTALLY AWESOME when video game characters use farting as a proper game mechanic, especially when that character is Wario, and double especially when it happens in one of my favorite games ever.

So there you go, five paragraphs about farts. Tune in next time, when it takes me less than a month to update!

My Wikipedia History: Letter A

2008-02-23T00:24:00.000-05:00

Ah, Wikipedia. If you know me at all, then you also know that I hang out there all the freaking time. Whenever I'm bored on the internet, or curious about something, I'm usually there, eating Wikipedia's cyberchips and sleeping on its websofa. I've been doing this for years.The two of us go way back.

I've been doing this for so long, and neglecting to clear my search history on this computer the entire time, that every letter I start a Wikipedia search with, anywhere from 3 to 73 words that I've searched for on previous occasions (no exaggeration, I just checked) automatically pop up, depending on the letter. The only exception to this rule is, understandably, the letter "Q". In any case, I figure that it'd be both kind of fun and a decent introduction to my interests and tastes if I did an article detailing all the search words that pop up when I type in a single letter, and my motives/experiences/etc behind searching for them. If it's successful, that's awesome because then I can exploit this idea up to 24 more times!

Here's how it'll work: I'm going to list and provide a Wikipedia link to every single word I've searched in a given letter, and give details on my personal stock and/or what I've learned from the more interesting ones in that list. I'm also going to do them in order, so if I was doing the letter "C" you might see a couple blurbs on Captain Crunch and Captain Falcon, then links to Carrots, Chalk, and Chewbacca, then a blurb on Cherry Pie, and so on and so forth. For letters with a shitload of search words, I'll probably stop after ten blurbs or so, then continue where I left off in a future post.

Now that that's out of the way, it seems only fitting to start with the letter "A"!

APE, Inc
APE, Inc (yes, the comma is included in the company's official name) is a video game developer that's responsible for one of several titles I'm totally in love with: Earthbound for the Super Nintendo, which is part of a franchise called Mother in Japan. This won't be the last time you hear me talk about Earthbound, because it's an amazing little game. If you're unfamiliar with the concept, it's pretty much a Dragon Quest game if it was set in modern times, had sci-fi elements instead of fantasy ones, and included an amazing sense of humor throughout the entire quest.

But alas, this is about the developer and not the game. They made two Mother games and, apparently, a video game based on Monopoly that only came out in Japan (what), before they dissolved the company and formed a new one called Creatures, Inc. I guess the apes in the company decided they needed more variety and started hanging out with tigers and owlbears and shit so they had to change the name. Jeez, thanks a lot for getting new friends, apes!

Creatures, Inc eventually made another Mother game that never came out here, but they're also responsible for helping make main entries in the Pokemon series, another one of my obsessions. For some reason, Game Freak gets all the credit for making the games, but Creatures, Inc. owns one third of the rights to the franchise so they're definitely involved. Maybe Aipom and Chimchar are actually those freaking apes that changed the company's name! Jerks.

Accepted

Accepted is a movie about a guy played by Justin Long who gets rejected from so many colleges that he pretends that he got accepted by a college that doesn't actually exist, so that he could please his parents. The hoax, of course, gets "hilariously" out of hand as hundreds of fellow college rejects find Justin Long's fake website that looks like it's for a real college and go to the abandoned building he made look like a real college building, so that they can enroll. I was initially really interested in this film because, as a college dropout, I have to admit that the concept of doing things the way you wanted to for college, while skipping the boring mandatory classes that don't benefit your major at all, was really appealing to me. I know that it's completely unrealistic, and that's exactly why I thought it'd make such a fun fictional story. Also, Justin Long! He's charming!

Of course, the movie ended up being a typical teenage "boobs and drugs everywhere, aren't we cutting edge" comedy, and it actually did have its moments, but I was left disappointed.

Ace Attorney series

Awesome!

The Ace Attorney series is pretty awesome. Way more awesome than you'd expect for a video game franchise about lawyers. It's just really well written! And the dialogue is clever and funny! And the characters are amazing! And oh man I love it so much, and that's why I looked it up.

Man. So far three out of four articles I've looked up have been related somehow to one of my favorite video games. That probably tells you quite a bit about me! And possibly depresses you a little.

Across the Universe
Advance Wars

Adventure Time

Oh Adventure Time, you wonderful, wonderful cartoon. Why can't some people appreciate the amazingness deep within your hilarious frames?

Adventure Time is basically this incredibly hilarious, incredibly surreal short toon about this kid and his pet dog (voiced by Bender from Futurama) that like to go on adventures. It sounds like a five year old came up with the idea, and the episode also feels like it's written by a five year old sometimes. It's the best thing ever!

Funny story, this cartoon was supposed to air on Nickelodeon, along with a bunch of other animated shorts, about a year ago, but the feature keeps getting delayed over and over again. It's currently set to air in June. When the shorts do start airing, the three shorts that are best received will be turned into full fledged cartoons to be shown on Nickelodeon.

Adventure Time WILL be one of them. Or I will make ANGRY FACES at a BABY.

Adventurers!
Afterschool Boy (by the way, if there is no article about it on Wikipedia, then I won't leave a link)
Alien Syndrome

America's Next Top Model

Hello, Tyra Banks! How are your breasts? Actually, you don't have to answer that, I can already tell that they're fantastic!

EDIT: Actually, I just looked again and they... well, they're okay. They're not great. You have a beautiful body, but it's definitely not thanks to the breasts. I'm sorry, picture of Tyra Banks wearing underwear.

Okay, so I've watched a few episodes of this show. What I'll usually do is watch the photoshoot footage, leave the room when the contestants start crying for ten minutes, then come back at the end when Tyra Banks starts acting crazy. Because seriously, Tyra Banks is FUCKING. CRAZY. And as a result the show is actually pretty entertaining and not as gay as I initially thought. That said, I don't see myself ever watching this show on a regular basis.

Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
Hey, two Ace Attorney articles in one post!

This is the most recent title in the series, and it just came out in the states. I haven't played it yet, but it'll be a happy day when I do! At least I hope so. The Psyche Locks feature is gone and you no longer get to play as Phoenix, the protagonist in the first three games, but hey! Sharper graphics and music, and the same awesome writing team. It'll still be great, even if it's not as great as its predecessors.

Architect
Art Spiegelman
Atomic Skull

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Avatar is one of many cartoon series that I've been meaning to watch but haven't had the opportunity to yet. Especially since DVD sets for the show are still 60 fricking dollars at the cheapest. It's too bad, too, cause I keep hearing great things about it. I have seen one episode, though, and it's actually pretty good stuff. I initally expected it to be American animators trying to be Japanese and failing, but it actually comes off as a pretty unique show. Maybe one day I'll get to watch the whole thing.

Did you know that the main character has hair in Season 3, though? Bald characters aren't allowed to grow hair! It's fucking illegal!

And that's the letter "A"! I hope you enjoyed reading all that. Tune in next time, when I decide to write an article that doesn't take so freaking long to put together!

(But if you do like these kinds of posts, let me know and I might make more My Wikipedia History articles in the near/eventual future. I likes feedback!)

An Awesome Beginning

2008-02-11T01:25:00.000-05:00

Heyo! My name is Daniel Thoreson. When I'm on the internet, I usually go by "Thores", and I think I'm going to call myself by that name on this blog as well. Because it is a good internet name and I like it.

Now, since this is a big fancy blog, with toolbars and everything, I'm going to do what every internet guy does and give you an explanation as to why I created this, and what purpose I plan for it to serve.

WITH PICTURES!

I sure am lucky I know Batman in real life!

So that's basically the deal. I want a place where I can talk about all the awesome things I love. Video games, comic books, movies, whatever I'm currently enjoying or looking forward to. And maybe if I'm lucky, I won't be the only one who reads this and I'll be able to share that love with other people. I'm terrible at articulating myself in introductory form, so hopefully you'll get the gist of what you can expect from here as time goes on.

Also, I'm never going to draw pictures for this site again.

Enjoy the awesome things to come!

-Thores